Okay, here we go. *clears throat*
“Hey ladies, I’m Capt. Jim Kirk. …Did I mention I was Captain? Yeah, of the Enterprise. You can tell I’m a deep guy ‘cause of my icy blue eyes and troubled past, and I use sarcasm to hide my true feelings because I’m Jim Kirk. Captain Jim Kirk. Bones, don’t be so grumpy all the time. Bla bla bla bla bla” - McCoy
I DO NOT SOUND LIKE THAT, BONES. My turn.
“Oh *flicks hair* I’m Uhura. I’m amazing. I can speak any language in the galaxy because I’m so smart and pretty. Jim, GOD you’re so annoying what is wrong with you! Spock, show some feelings. We don’t communicate enough. Why is everyone out to get me?! I’m so annoyed with all of you…” - Kirk
Jim, you ass.
“Oh Captain, my Captain. Let me kiss your feet and shine your shoes. You’re so smart and great. That chair looks super comfortable. I’m awesome because I can fence and therefore I am superior to you all. Yeah, I can kick ass. I’m the most badass Helmsman in space.” - Uhura
“AH! YE! CAPTAIN! Tha engines cannee take much more! Whatever you want to do is wrong! Wrong I tell you! My ship is so precious, a lovely lady of space floating through warp like a majestic goddess! Donnee hurt ma one true love, Captain. She’s a delicate machine, you know!”- Sulu
ALRIGHT, IT’S ON YOU WEE SHITS.
“I CAN DO ZAT. YES, I CAN DO ZAT. GIVE ME PEACHES AND I’LL DO ANYTHING, KEPTIN. I’M SO YOUNG AND BOUNCY AND FULL OF LIFE. ALL THE LADIES LOVE ME BUT I’M SO SOCIALLY AWKWARD AND SHY I DON’T KNOW WHY. BUT WHAT I DO KNOW IS WHAT I CAN DO. AND I CAN DO ZAT.” - Scotty
“ZAT IS ILLOGICAL. EWERYTHING IS ILLOGICAL. Keptin! No, I do not agree with whatever it is you are about to do. I am so internally conflicted but refuse to show it because showing things is illogical and Wulcans do not like things that are not based on logic, Keptin!” - Chekov
“Damn it, Jim. Oh, you are extremely frustrating, and therefore chose to express my anger through various metaphors and southern references that only I understand. I will return to medical until you have grown up. Please, refrain from creating jokes based on my age, grumpy disposition, and cynical nature of life. Damn it. Good god, man.” - Spock